What It’s Really Like to Move Abroad with Teenagers: A Real Talk from Our Family
Thinking about moving your family abroad but worried about how your teens will adjust? You’re not alone, and you’re not crazy for considering it.
I’m Guillermo Salas, founder of Expat Livin, and today, I’m handing the mic to my teenage sons, Joaquin (17) and Xavier (16). They didn’t just move abroad, they lived it. From culture shocks and language fails to finding their place in a new world, they’re sharing the honest truth about what it’s like to start over as a teen in a foreign country.
Whether you’re planning a move to Spain or just wondering how kids adjust to life abroad, this story is for you.
A Netflix-Worthy Journey: From the U.S. to Spain at 13 and 12
When we decided to move to Spain, Joaquin was 13 and Xavier was 12. Most families move abroad when their kids are younger or before they’ve started school. Not us. We jumped in with teenagers, mid-school, mid-life.
At first, everything felt like a vacation. New scenery, new foods, new brands at the grocery store. There was excitement, novelty, and the infamous honeymoon phase. But once we enrolled the boys in Spanish public school, the reality hit, hard.
No more “fun trip” mode. It was full-on immersion. And they had zero Spanish.
Language Shock: “It Was Gibberish”
The boys were placed in Spanish public schools on the southern coast, where English speakers are few and far between. Their classes were entirely in Spanish, including math, history, and literature.
“Math is universal… until you can’t understand the word problems,” Joaquin laughed. “It felt like a foreign language and a foreign subject.”
Xavier remembers his first day vividly: two hours of nonstop Spanish from a teacher speaking at what felt like 3,000 miles per hour. “I just sat there confused,” he said. “I had no idea what was happening.”
Frustration, Homesickness, and Finding a Rhythm
There were moments we questioned everything. Crying, confusion, isolation. We wondered, Did we make a mistake? But we pushed through.
And around April or May, something shifted.
“By the end of the school year, it wasn’t perfect, but it started to click,” Joaquin shared. “I made a few friends who spoke English, and slowly, I figured it out.”
School in Spain vs. the U.S.: What’s Different?
One of the biggest differences the boys noticed was the teaching style.
In the U.S., lessons were interactive, with teachers walking students through material. In Spain, the approach was more traditional: write on the board, talk fast, assign work.
“They handed me a history book and told me to memorize everything about ancient Greece,” Xavier recalled. “No discussion, no analysis. Just memorize and test.”
That changed once they moved to Madrid and transitioned to a British international school, which blended Spanish and English instruction and focused more on critical thinking.
Life Outside School: From Rock Bands to Federation Soccer
Adjusting wasn’t just about academics. It was about finding community.
Joaquin joined soccer and basketball teams, entirely in Spanish. “I had to learn all the positions, strategies, and sports lingo in another language,” he said. “It was frustrating at first, but it made me better.”
Meanwhile, Xavier discovered an unexpected passion: music.
“I joined a rock band in Spain,” he grinned. “I never thought I’d play a concert in a bar full of tattooed locals with mohawks. But here we are.”
This transformation happened not in spite of moving abroad, but because of it.
Culture Shocks, Language Fails, and Unexpected Growth
Some of their favorite Spanish phrases?
Joaquin: “Vale.” A multipurpose word used constantly. “It means ‘okay,’ but you can use it a thousand ways.”
Xavier: “Síiiiiii” (mimicking the exaggerated Spanish way of saying yes).
And of course, there were classic language fails, like Xavier telling half his class that he was pregnant instead of embarrassed. (“Embarazada” = pregnant in Spanish.)
But through all of this, they learned something far more valuable than verb conjugation.
Lessons Learned: Resilience, Adaptability, and Perspective
“You’ve got to work through it,” Xavier said. “No one hands you fluency or confidence. You figure things out. You ask for help. You grow.”
Joaquin agreed: “Once you learn the language, everything else starts to fall into place. It gives you an edge in life.”
Despite the early tears and the tough transition, both boys now say they’re glad we stayed. And so are we.
From One-Year Plan to Permanent Move
What started as a one-year adventure turned into an indefinite stay. We sold everything. We stayed in Spain. And yes, Xavier once made a full PowerPoint presentation arguing why we should go back to the U.S. (He doesn’t regret staying.)
“Now we have a great school, new friends, and deeper relationships than we had before,” Joaquin reflected. “We found our place.”
Would They Move to Another Country?
Xavier: “Maybe… if it’s an English-speaking country like Ireland.”
Joaquin: “Definitely. I’d move to the U.K. or France. I’ve picked up a little French too!”
Exposure to multiple languages and cultures has changed how they see the world. And as parents, we’ve seen them grow in ways that go far beyond academics.
Lightning Round: Favorites and Misses
Favorite Spanish food?
Joaquin: Cachopo
Xavier: Huevos rotos
What they miss from the U.S.?
Joaquin: Philly sports teams
Xavier: Riding his bike to 7-Eleven for snacks
Advice for Families Moving Abroad with Teens
Here’s what they want you to know:
From Joaquin:
“Focus on the language. Once that clicks, everything else gets easier.”
From Xavier:
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People will help you if you reach out.”
Final Thoughts: It’s Not Just About Where You Live…
…it’s about who you become.
Raising teenagers abroad isn’t always easy. But the benefits - resilience, adaptability, bilingualism, empathy, independence - are priceless.
If you’re thinking, Could we really do this as a family?, you can. And we’re here to help.
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